Charles J. Cooper prays to Baby Jesus

Following his comically piss-poor performance defending California’s Proposition 8 today, Charles  J. Cooper had only one prayer to his magical baby Jesus friend this afternoon. “Please,” he beseeched whilst on bended knee in front of his church’s nativity scene, “please, please, show me how to properly argue a case in court”.

Baby Jesus of Nazareth, refused to comment on Cooper’s inability to explain why a deputy clerk of Imperial County had any standing in a federal case or why he couldn’t providing any evidence that Prop 8 should be upheld beyond, “We don’t need any evidence.” Instead, baby Jesus just replied, “I only turn water into wine. This Charles J. Cooper dude needs a fucking miracle.”